Lunar

Ha

2007-05-29T13:18:49Z

! Phth...Kys a tard!

I locked myself out of my account and had to reset my password. Writing things down now....

lunartwilight @ 2007-05-21T13:51:00

2007-05-21T19:53:20Z

Whoa.

Looking back on the last few months, Ive realised how much life has changed.
Just posting to get rid of the older entry.

....

2007-04-17T13:48:04Z

*SNARL*

This week? Sucks. It just sucks. Thats all.

lunartwilight @ 2007-03-08T06:48:00

2007-03-08T14:00:16Z

Consider this my...semi last entry on here I guess.

Once again, and for the last time, I want to apologise for my behavior. Lately though, I just feel relatively...cold towards everyone. It scares the hell out of me, really. Certain things that are going on, I should be my overemotional self over. People will tell me things, and its usually like I can feel what they are feeling. But...its like...ice. Thats the only thing that makes sense to me. Its not that it doesnt matter, its just that I dont seem to be able to care.Or feel. About anything much really. My normally really weird emotions seem to have been reduced to CALM, ANGRY, and RELATIVELY CHEERY. I dont care much what I say, or do.
But I really cant help it.
Hell, I dont even care about posting anymore. Which is why, unless it is important, or im really bored, I just wont.
I dont know what the hell is going on anymore...
Sorry.
I just. Dont. Care.

Update for Updates sake

2007-03-07T14:09:29Z

It seems that...pretty much everyone is a LITTLE snarly lately.

And as much as I seem to usually get caught up in that kinda thing, Im...not.

I kinda...really dont give a crap about all the little life-and-tech drama going on.

Just..dont.

I feel...Im not sure the word...disconnected from everyone else. Kinda like what I would expect your computer to feel like if it wasnt connected to the internet anymore. (Because, you know, in my mind computers have feelings) And the bad thing is, for some reason, this feeling aint bad. Actually, I dont know if thats a bad thing then. I guess the only word that describes even close to the way I feel now would be "free". I dont know whats changed(ing), but I do know that something has(is). And, It doesnt seem to be bad. Only bad like winter seems bad but then you get the spring.

..and on a positive note...

2007-02-24T03:24:24Z

Again. For the sake of all things good, this kinda stuff shouldnt be shared. But...

http://humandescent.deviantart.com/

Just....just click it.
All I can say is Im glad that our world isnt run on a SIM or Zoo Tycoon platform.

Because then...these would ACTUALLY be living. Breathing. Hungry little creatures.

Huh?

2007-02-13T14:59:44Z

Had a weird dream. Wasnt really sleeping. Like...almost sleeping. And I had semi-control of my actions. Not weird by my normal standards, but weird because my little cousins(>2nd cuz or something) were in it.
Mostly posting to get rid of my "Fuck" entry.

everyone was hanging out at this lodge place in the mountains, but I somehow knew we were still in Calgary. It was the middle of day, and everyone (not sure all who was there...) was sitting around in a circle, talking and stuff, sitting inside by the fire, (Why the hell we had a fire going in the day I dont know) but I was just leaning up against the window, staring at the sky. It was really bright and warm out. Kri and carter tried to wave me over to come talk, but I wouldnt go. Mumbled something about being too warm over there or something. So, I just stood there, being my loner self, staring out the window(It was like a wall-window. Like...a huge ass pane of glass) And out of nowhere, my little cousins Aiden and Rowan come charging up to me, crying. I havent seen them in a year, and ive only ever met them twice. Why they were there I dont know. They practically knocked my feet out from under me. Rowan was practically hysterical, poor little guy, and Aiden was mumbling something about tornados. So, I picked Rowan up, got up, and dragged Aiden closer to me, and Aiden gets really scared and goes "See...Its getting dark out...Thats bad. We should go, lisa..."
Now, it was the middle of the day. It was nice and bright a moment ago. So, I turn around and say "Aiden, its alright. Theres no tornado, and its....day?"
The freaking sky had gone completely black, and it looked like twilight out. Except...orangy. Aiden started pleading with me to leave, but I was too busy watching the glass frost. Like...black spidery veins of frost starting from the bottom up. When they dragged my vision up enough I noticed the huge fucking full moon in the sky. Then, something started to happen, and I went completely cold, muttering "Oh shit. Forgot about the eclipse. We need to go." Why? Wasnt sure. But I just knew we needed to leave. It was like a solar eclipse, but then changed to a lunar one for the most part. I tried to go to drag aiden and rowan out, but then everything started to get really...almost dizzy. The two little kids were transfixed on the sky, and I couldnt get them to move fast enough. Then, I noticed that the fire inside had gone almost ethereal white, and everyone was standing up, kinda facing us with their heads down. Yknow that feeling you get right before you know something bad is about to happen? yeah. Thats the feeling I got. Yet did I move? Nope.
Then I noticed Carter had a nice shiny pointy dagger. Pointed at me. This got me moving, but when I went to turn, I guess it was Icareda that was standing in my path. Everyone was like...shadowy sillouhetts, but I just knew. She made this horrible giggling noise, and all I remember is this weird cold and hot feeling running through me, seeing my wings unfurl, hearning rowan scream my name, pushing someone away from him( he got his arm scratched) feeling a really sharp pain in my gut like id been stabbed,
THen my freaking alarm went off.

What. The hell. Were my little cousins doing in my dream?

Whimpers and curls up with paws over eyes

2007-02-02T13:58:38Z

yeah. Fuck. Just....fuck.

Sorry if im going to be antisocial and sorry for whatever I say when Im snappy. Im miserable, and I dont want to socialize.

FUCK!....

Ha! dances

2007-01-25T17:00:28Z

Well. Finally, after a weird couple of weeks, a lot of crap has happened I guess. One of which (Ha! Witch...) being that last night, I finally managed to tell my parents about wanting to be Wiccan. And theyre okay with it! Okay, yes, there a bit confused, I have rules to follow right now (Such as no Ouiji boards or Tarot cards, which im fine with. I dont know what the hell Im doing, and theyre dangerous, so...), and Its just learning, but...yeah. Even though its going to be rough, Im glad I told them. We had one of those fun life talks, and now, Im at an all-new high of optimism for some reason. I honestly feel like I just know everything will be okay. No matter what happens, everything will eventually turn out fine.

Not gonna be mentioning the otherkin stuff. That, I think, is going to be a little much.

Im going to go...cook. I have now realised that I love to cook. And, now Ill go and do it.

*dances*

Wow.

2007-01-18T03:14:18Z

Okay. So, now that i'm less depressed, I think I have something to rant about. Short, yes, but a rant.

The people who comment on videos.

Seriously. Go to Youtube. Read the comments. Cry for the lost souls of the people who discovered coherent thought.

That shall be all.

lunartwilight @ 2007-01-15T06:49:00

2007-01-15T14:55:33Z

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true.

Your near future is in a very different place (both physically and mentally) from where you are right now.

For you, falling in love has never been easy. You can only fall for someone who is very patient and persistent.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Are More Yin

Feminine
Devoted
Forgiving
Fall
Winter
Afternoon
Moon
Time
Passive
Metal
Honey

Are You More Yin or Yang?

You Are 24% Sociopath

From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good.
It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!

Are You A Sociopath?

Yay! not crazy...in that way...cause that would be bad.

Your Depression Level: 68%

You seem to have moderate depression.
Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life.
You would benefit greatly from professional help.

Are You Depressed?

*choke* Ehrm...I dont feel that depressed...And I feel better now...

lunartwilight @ 2007-01-12T07:39:00

2007-01-12T14:41:34Z

Yknow how sometimes, you just come across something that, for the greater good of all life on earth, should not be seen , but you are compelled to share it anyway?

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=223

VgCats. Updated.

*is renderd completely speechless*

Me Needing To Write Down Whats Running Through My Head...

2007-01-10T14:58:07Z

This is for My benefit only. There should be no connecting sense to this. And there will be no cryptics, no nothing. I should write this in my other journal, but since this is here, ill use this. And im not going to lock it, because I...I dont really know why I wont.
So, yknow. You dont need to read this. Nothing important will come of it.

I surrender. I have no Idea what the hell is going on. So, to try and peice some stuff together, Ill type it.

I get the whole otherkin,werewolf, angel thing. I really do. Kindof. Well, the angel thing makes sence anyways. When I was little, I knew some crap that no kid who just learned to talk properly should. For instance, I had a friend "Imaginary" That I called my friend from Africa. And when I used to draw him, he would look like he was from africa. Egypt or somewhere around there I think, because he had egyptian-looking jewlery, such as an anklet. But...I was like....4 or so. I had just learned the concept of the world I guess. How the hell should I be able to describe the place in africa where this kid lived, let alone know what he looked like, let alone even know what Africa and Egypt were? I love to sing. I play music loud, and sing along to it, no matter that I cant sing, was in choir, but Ive always thought that there is something missing in songs. Im Empathetic. I feed off peoples emotions, and feel them as my own. And ive always felt kind of...hollow I guess. I remember wondering why I couldnt make that feeling go away, unless I got extremely emotional. No matter what I did, it always felt like I was longing for something. Even now. Its a horrible sense of loss, stemming from something. It honestly feels like part of me is missing. Its horrible. And I remember and Camp Chestermere, when they were teaching about God and stuff, part of my brain kept thinking....this isnt correct. When I used to think of what God was, I never pictured a person, or anything person-like. I 'remembered' or knew it was a light. Just a light, infinetely warm and all encompasing. I never could, and still cant imagine any deity as an actual person. Im now thinking that there all, every one of them, aspects of this light, the divine, the source. NOT that im not wiccan. I just think that the God and Goddess are aspects of this divine light thingy. I mean, I had a "dream" the other night, and I was on this little island in the middle of a lake in the middle of a forest that was by the sea at night, right after I had begged at my altarthingy for a sign that all this was kinda real, because I was lost, and this female voice started talking to me. I cant remember most of the conversation,( I remember when she called me a "doubtfull little thing". thats when I realised it wasnt me talking. Id never heard that configuration of words before.) but I remember though she was a female figure in a cloak, she was pure light, And I mean PURE. and when she touched my face lightly, that voidy feeling dissapeared. It was like...everything was alright, everything was perfect, and i didnt need to worry.
(http://www.embracingmystery.org splains some stuff. (articles) I agree with most of it.)

However, if angelkin is what the wings are, though it makes sence, its not one of the Angels of Light, The First. At least not due to this persons description, and at least not due to what I remember. I know the light thing. I can almost feel it when I think of it. But when I had my fun little flashback while watching a show on Egypt, thought I had wings (theyre 5 feet and almost look as if theyre made from golden light) I was definetely not....lack of word here....well, i felt partially "human". Thats hard to explain. But I just know. I was running like hell at night through the terrace, And I was carrying something important, and thats the only think I can remember, other than the impending feeling of BAD. The other thing I remember is something about Celtic ruins and stuff. So, peiced together from me and Ky and reading (Ky doesnt talk to me, she kinda is me but not me, kinda reincarnate but not...its really complicated, I still dont get it. But I gave her a voice, I think. And to avoid more circles, Ill end that there) Heres a chain of logic.

1) Ended up on earth. (below will be a chain of logic for that)
2) Egypt. Was trying to do something, get something important, something bad happened.
3)Got ressurected in some Celtic thingy.
4) Something ELSE bad happened. Died.
5) Reincarnated/ something here.

Now thats just the sequence im toying with. Again, I could be completely wrong, but I dont care. Im letting myself just dream now. As for reasongs why I was down here in the first place. Did something bad? Dont think so. Fell? Not sure. Sent here to do something? I think so. Now what? For some reason last night, the word hunting popped into my head. Who? Lillith? I dont know. Everything I think is so fractured, and I cant peice things together without wondering constantly if Im just playing tricks with my mind, and imagining things. I could be. I dont know.

So. Theres my chain of logic for the day. Im going to go brush my hair now.

School Again

2007-01-07T22:46:06Z

Yeah. Tommorow is school again. Just thought Id post that to remove the scary journal from that part of the page. I think I feel better...Maybe. Im not sure. Well go with that though. After typing homework for 4 hours, I feel oddly optimistic about life. Strange, how radiation can affect your brain...

>...< I dont know why im typing....so, yknow. Dont bother paying attention.

2007-01-03T17:38:28Z

I feel all strange again. I dont know what I feel, its kinda like everything and nothing at all and GOD DAMN THE SUN IS BRIGHT!
Arg. I dont think I like feeling. And I have a lot, I mean A LOT of other important things to do for the return to school, but...I just cant care. For 11 years, school has occupied most of my life, and im quite tired of it. But I have nothing else to do. Cept waste my time. And my parents are starting to drive me slightly insane. Maybe its cause my temper seems to have snapped lately. I dont know why. Wait....I might. But, last night was really driving me crazy. They started fighting with me about something I said, then realised that I was right and fought about that instead. So, I took the dog for a walk, just snarling and swearing under my breath, trying to not scream and howl and hurt things, and decided to stalk someone down the alley after recieving a glare on the street. Mind you, I was not very intimidating looking with poofy shower hair and part of my housecoat showing under my coat, but she seemed to realise, through her drunken haze, that glaring at me was a bad Idea. And for once, walking the dog served only to piss me off more. So, I watched some dissapointingly gorry movies, then went and made myself pass out to sleep. And I still just want to tear something into shreds. Fuck. I dont know what to feel or believe anymore. Stupid pessimism. Stupid...everything. I want to go swimming or snowboarding. BUT ITS BLOODY SUNNY NOW! Man, people always complain about the weather. No matter what it is, nobody is happy. I guess its the same with everything. Nobody can just be happy with what they have. SO, today, I think Ill try. Or, yknow...tomorow. See? Procrastinating again. THat reminds me. I read something in a book the other day that I can put in here. "Procrastination is like masturbation: It provides momentary gratification, but in the end, youre only screwing yourself."THere. Because It seemed amusing at the time.

But as crappy and messed up and tired of everything that I feel right now, A small comfort is that i know it will pass. These moods always do. Sure, they overstay their welcome, but in the end I always end up feeling fine. Heh. Im listening to old show tunes from Chicago. This is new. Man, Im just a little ball of fucking sunshine today. Maybe its cause I dont appreciate being awakened by the telephone two days in a row. Maybe its cause Im doubting everything I believe in. Maybe its cause my throat feels like its been scalded by acid. Maybe its cause im hungry and just woke up. But who knows. I could list these things all day, and damn. I just lost the point I was going to make, if any. I always seem to feel the need to try and make a point when I journal. SO, for once, I wont make a point. Damn music can swing your mood. But, no point. Hell, I wont even end with a full sentence. Or even a word for that matter. Damn. Now I wish I had half letters....See? Watch me. Goodbye english langu

Yawn

2007-01-02T16:07:21Z

*waves paw* Still alive. I think. uhhhhnnn.....*head, meet keyboard.*

MORE lyrics....Because I wanna.

2006-12-29T00:29:19Z

"New Design"

Wait, I might hesitate, am I a minute too late?
Please Lord, I need to know.This pressure's got me letting go.
If I'm wrong, will I still carry on and end up where I belong?

I've never felt this way before.
I've never come so close, I've never worn so thin.
I'm steeping out instead of closing in.
I left myself behind when I made up my mind.
No turning back this time,
this is my new design.

Sometimes, I feel so alone, it feels like I'm standing out here on my own, and I've never felt
so far from home.It's coming on, it hits me when I step outside my zone. Cause sometimes, I
feel so alone, it feels like I'm standing out here on my own, and I've never felt so far from
home. It's coming on, it hits me when I step outside my zone.

I see what you're doing to me, could have been you so easily,
but you look the other way. Even though we were close the other day,
and I'm still tryin to get up this hill. I need you just like a pill,
and I've never felt this way before.

Sometimes, I feel so alone, it feels like I'm standing out here on my own, and I've never felt
so far from home. It's coming on, it hits me when I step outside my zone. Cause sometimes, I
feel so alone, it feels like I'm standing out here on my own, and I've never felt so far from
home. It's coming on, it hits me when I step outside my zone.

Do ya get the feeling everything will be alright? I'm moving, so pleased to meet you, but I'm
movin on, tried to pass it to another, but it's comin on. I can't wait to find out, break me, I
can't seem to climb out of this hole. I'm stuck again, if I'm not out in a minute, I'm jumpin
in. Let's start again, I'm sick of this, let's just get it out. Are ya feelin it? Move back, ya
wanna feel how real it is? Let's just get it out. Are ya feelin it? Move back, ya wanna feel
how real it is?

Sometimes, I feel so alone, it feels like I'm standing out here on my own, and I've never felt
so far from home. It's coming on, it hits me when I step outside my zone. Cause sometimes, I
feel so alone, it feels like I'm standing out here on my own, and I've never felt so far from
home. It's coming on, it hits me when I step outside my zone

Aand that is the song that kinda applies to crap. So...yeah. Heres some more lyrics. I like lyrics. Theyre delicious.

Monolith Lyrics

Is this wrong of me? I've come so far, so fast
I'm in the dark about a lot of things
Seems so real - TO ME!
I'VE CONSECRATED!
I WISH THAT I COULD HATE IT
I SAW MY BLOODY HANDS COME CLEAN... BEFORE MY EYES!
And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, someone stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within

Visions plague my dreams - oh God, what beast did this?
I couldn't have: oh Jesus, I just don't know
What's inside - OF ME?
I'VE DESECRATED!
MY GOD, I'd LOVE TO HATE IT!
MY HANDS ARE BLOODY AGAIN, THERE'S NO REASON WHY!

And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, someone stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within

[Solo: Josh]

And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, can you stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within

WITHIN!

Centerfold Lyrics

(can you turn it up please, just a tiny bit, that'd be awesome)

I'm on the rebound
I get it where I want to
I'm on the way down
I'm getting fixed without you
You gave me a band-aid
I put it on my heartbreak
And all you got is pictures in your hand

Don't you wish you could hold
The angel in the centerfold
The fantasy you couldn't control
That walked away from you
Don't you wish that you could hold
The pretty little paper doll
The one you couldn't quite control
Who walked away from you

Flip to me, I'm the centerfold
I'm gonna charm you
All night
Stick to me, I'm the centerfold
We're gonna go, oh
Hold tight

I'm gonna hate you
'til I forget you
So here's a keepsake
I left it in the bathroom
Just a little something
Something to remind you
I'm sure you'll never get this close again

Don't you wish you could hold
The angel in the centerfold
The fantasy you couldn't control
Who walked away from you
Don't you wish that you could hold
The pretty little paper doll
The one you couldn't quite control
Who walked away from you

Flip to me, I'm the centerfold
I'm gonna charm you
All night
Stick to me, I'm the centerfold
We're gonna go, oh
Hold tight

Flip to me, I'm the centerfold
I'm gonna charm you
All night
Stick to me, I'm the centerfold
We're gonna go, oh
Hold tight

Now it's him but it could've been you
Tell me why it's him when it should've been you
Its crazy how this makes you wanna change
Here's an image you won't forget
All your life I'll tease, I'll torment
I'll be gone as soon as you turn the page

Don't you wish you could hold
The angel in the centerfold
The fantasy you couldn't control
Who walked away from you
Don't you wish that you could hold
The pretty little paper doll
The one you couldn't quite control
Who walked away from you

Flip to me, I'm the centerfold
I'm gonna charm you
All night
Stick to me, I'm the centerfold
We're gonna go, oh, hold tight

Sorry Loves.

2006-12-27T00:26:41Z

Ive been reading all my friends entries. Aand Im sorry I havent commented. Honestly. But my feelings lately are muddled, and I cant put much into words. So its prolly better I dont say anything. Know that I care though, even If I cant say it, and im here for all of you.

Some things:

1) My iPod is a blue nano btw. ITS PRETTY! I love it! Its name right now is Makani (means wind.). I think ill be renaming it Hermie or something. AND it has a kewlass case now. *luffs* So...yeah. Ive been Mac'd.

2)Grandmother? Fine. She went home because her bloodpressure was through the roof. Like...in the 250's. It was scary. But shes got new meds and shes doing fine now.

3) Christmas? Good. Strange, but good.

4) Boxing day at the mall is NOT pleasant. There are PANTY DEMONS in LaSenza. I kid you not. It was scary. Me and my mom ran away fast. However, nice things can be gotten, such as VAN HELSING AND BLADE TRILLOGY!!! *dancessplees*

5)On the lack of christmas gifts....I am sorry. SO sorry. Something happened, and I ended up with no money and no time. I...was quite confused.....

BREAKING NEWS!!! MY KEYBOARD WORKS WITH ITUNES! YAAAYYY!!!

Now...back to what I was saying. I will make it up to everyone, and I feel bad, but honestly. Last year I spent +800 monies. I just dont have that kind of money to throw around.

6)Monolith-StoneSour New Design-Thousand Foot Krutch and Heavens On Fire-Kiss are AMAZING songs.

7) The internet brokeded, so thats why Ive been absent online for a whiles....

NOW....if ANYONE was supposed to be doing ANYTHING with me ANYTIME in the near future, I forgot. Contact me. Throw things at me. But make sure you remind me as SOON as possible.

AAAAnnnnd. ....I think thats it. Im cold. Ooh! VanHelsing Now.....

*licks Ipod*

....Meh?

2006-12-25T20:00:20Z

Okay. Ive resigned myself to the fact that for the rest of my life EVERYTHING is gonna be odd.

Gramma had to go to the HOSPITAL both last night and the night before. That was fun.

So, im tired and gonna go play with my new iPod (YEah, THats right beetchez. Kai has joined the 21st century.)

Merry Christmas!

Decided something.

2006-12-21T14:40:58Z

Pth. Realised something. Yesterday, sometime during my depression and rage feelings, I got to thinking about all this crap thats going on. (those who know, know). And I decided something: I honestly dont know what to believe.

However, this donning Idea isnt a bad thing. Usually, I would feel miserable, but I dont. Because along with that came some more ideas.

Maybe I dont know what the hell is going on. Maybe its all true, maybe it isnt. Maybe Im crazy. Maybe this is just some twisted joke.Maybe Im sick. Any of those could be possible. But, whatever the hell is going on, Im sure of one thing for sure. I know what I feel. And whatever Im feeling, that IS part of me. Whatever that feeling may be caused from doesnt matter. So, Maybe im crazy, maybe none of this exists, maybe it does. That doesnt matter. What I feel is real. Even Ky. All this is part of me, whatever it is, and once causes are figured out, whatever they happen to be, Ill be ok. Everyone will. Ill be able to deal with what needs to be dealt with, and move in whichever direction is necessary. So, for now, Im not going to question what is happening, and get freaked out when I cant find an answer. I know what I feel, and therefore what I feel exists. And thats all I really need to care about. The rest will just come with the flow of things.

And that thinking, for some reason, makes me feel INSANELY good. Because I also realised as long as you can realise what you feel is you, then you kinda know who you are, and nothing can really phase you as long as you remember that. So, come what may. Ill deal, whatever it is.

Then again, this was at about 11 at night, and I was sleepy...so....

.....snarl

2006-12-20T14:21:44Z

WELL TODAY HAS STARTED OUT BEING LOADS OF FUN. Fuck. Last night I spent the night getting bitched at constantly by my parents. Im not even sure about what. I stopped listening and started just nodding. Then I get on the computer to try and maybe escape that....but no. Then it all starts again this morning.

Im. Bloody. SIck of all this. Sick of trying hoplessly to be the middle ground. Trying to deal with my own shit while keeping my normal life going. Im. DONE.

Fuck it. People want to be mad? Fucking go ahead. Scream and yell. I dont give a FLYING FUCK!

Consider this a warning for anyone who gets to read this before today starts. Im probably going to be MORE THAN slightly PISSED off. And im not going to try and calm down. I dont want a fucking hug. I dont want to laugh. I dont WANT to have a good day, futilly fighting to be calm and neutral all bloody day. I dont bloody care anymore. Ive always tried to be rational when Im angry, but I dont want to anymore. If everyone else gets to fume and yell when they get mad over stupid little things, then so do I. Im done with being the calm, rational voice. FUCK it. ARGH!@

...and now my toast is burned. Yep. Not in a good mood.

And anyone who tells me to calm down: I hope you choke on your blood and drown.

AND thats my two cents for the day.

~Lisa and Ky.

WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

2006-12-19T14:25:46Z

*snicker*

Damn. I feel good. For once, I dont get to bitch and post lyrics in my blog. I can actually say I feel great. If not entirelly myself.....BUT I dont mind. So-o....now Im bored. So I shall now find random things to post. And I cant type very well anymore. (<.<)

You scored as WereWolf. WereWolf: Craving rare Meat, feeling caged, aggitated by being around people. Unable to control one's anger or temper. The person will give off symptoms of the shift. They will seem more hostile, blood thirsty, aggitated. They may even growl, bare their teeth or other animal like tendencies. In rare cases, some will physically change. Facial hair will grow thicker or darker, nails will become longer, canine's will seem longer. Embrace your wild side, for you are The Misunderstood WereWolf.

WereWolf

84%

Angel

84%

Faerie

67%

Mermaid

59%

Demon

33%

Dragon

17%

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

*points to two top answers THAT TIED....* *snickers slightly nervously*

AND that shall be it.. .because the source button dissapeared on me and I can not find a way to post the others. Tard.

More lyrics

2006-12-16T17:14:47Z

DEFAULT LYRICS

"The Memory Will Never Die"

I whisper in your ear
The words you wan't to hear
You feel the wind and it reminds you
It happens everytime
You stop and close your eyes
You can't deny what lives inside you
Well I know it's hard to see
What is meant to be
When yesterday is so far behind you

Deep inside your soul knows I'm always there

You made me believe the day you surrender to me
The memory will never die
The love that you gave
I'll never throw it away
The memory will never die

The tides take a turn
Another lesson learned
I'm right here but still you wonder
Would you say
And it's not what it was, before
your on your own and going under

Deep inside your soul knows I'm always there

You made me believe the day you surrender to me
The memory will never die
The love that you gave
I'll never throw it away
The memory will never die

Whenever you wake up
Whenever you gave up
All that you had for nothing at all
The bed that you lay in
Remember you made it
And nobody's there to catch you when you fall

You made me believe the day you surrender to me
The memory will never die
The love that you gave
I'll never throw it away
The memory will never die

You made me believe the day you surrender to me
The memory will never die
The love that you gave
I'll never throw it away
The memory will never die

lunartwilight @ 2006-12-15T19:24:00

2006-12-16T02:28:12Z

All Is Forgiven Lyrics

As if the wait was not enough,
and one can only take so much.

You broke into pieces,
seems hopeless now but at least you know,
the tables can turn around,
and time will repair you.

And the rain comes and goes,
and all is forgiven.
Can we learn to let go?
So all is forgiven.

You're on your knees reaching out,
reaching for someone,
to lift you up right off the ground,
is anyone out there?

You cant breathe,
You're choking,
You'll make it through just keep holding on,
I know that it won't be long,
'till somebody saves you.

And the rain comes and goes,
and all is forgiven.
Can we learn to let go?
So all is forgiven

When the clouds burn away,
all is forgiven.
When the night turns to day,
so all is forgiven.

Don't stop the rain from pouring down,
let it wash the pain,
Where it can't be found

And the rain comes and goes,
and all is forgiven.
Can we learn to let go?
So all is forgiven

When the clouds burn away,
all is forgiven.
When the night turns to day,
so all is forgiven.

oh... all is forgiven.
oh... all is forgiven...

Almost got hit by a car. Panic attack right now. Need to just post some lyrics. Damn its hard to relax. Okay. Breathing now....

Ookay. Fucked up again.

2006-12-14T15:03:10Z

"And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, can you stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within"

Well last night I had lots of fun writing in my other journal. Wrote like...3 pages. And frankly, what was coming out of my mind is a bit frightening.

Usually I end up finding what I wrote scary, and not applicable (Like...wtf did I write that?) But reading it this morning my entire feeling was...yeah. I agree with that...

Which kinda freaks me out, because I was writing lots of not-so-sane crap about death. SOme stuff I wont type up here. But thats because i was going a bit off the wall last night. However, some of it was just "harmless thinking." Like a short little manual on how to torture and kill someone if they try and rape you. Including little ideas about how to kill them, such as injecting bleach into their bloodstream or hydrochloric acid so that they slowly dissolve from the inside out. After slicing the skin between fingers and toes, and doing lots of other fun stuff.

And you know waht? I think that that would be a fitting punishment. Some people just deserve to be killed. Now, people with remorse or mental disorders that hurt others, they can be helped through medicine and the justice system. But our justice system gets...kinda backwards sometimes. And most people know my views on rapists, pedophiles, the like.

If someone uses their life to harm others intentionally, if they feel nothing for the pain they cause, then they do not deserve their life. It would be justice to kill them. Sometimes, blood needs to be shed.

See, if you took one of these people, with no remorse or feeling, you could lock them up in jail and they wouldnt care. They would do it all again if they had the chance. You could just kill them, but they would not suffer for the torment they have put people through. SO...because they did it to others, taking your time in killing them would be perfectly acceptable. If they do not feel anything, then make them feel.
Justice.
Besides. Animals kill their own kind to protect themselves and those they love. Humans are animals.

Again, I am NOT justifying killing here. Hell, im just ranting. So nobody go out and start killing people. Good god do not do that. All im saying is....Im not sure what. I just wanted to write that.

I honestly wish I could control whats going on, because Im not good with this "go with the flow" thing. So again, appologies for any behaviour that might freak people out. Im trying.

But, Im not crazy. Sane is being able to function. I can do that quite well. I just dont think its healthy to lock all your feelings in your head.

And that is the last time I read JTHM before bed. Thats what started all the thinking.
When I think, its scary.

"I go to sleep when I'm awake
I stay awake and grind my teeth
I go to bed and walk around Around, around inside my head..."

Prayer Lyrics

Another dream that will never come true
Just to compliment your sorrow
Another life that I've taken from you
A gift to add on to your pain and suffering
Another truth you can never believe
Has crippled you completely
All the cries you're beginning to hear
Trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening

Let me enlighten you
This is the way I pray

Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away

Another nightmare about to come true
Will manifest tomorrow
Another love that I've taken from you
Lost in time, on the edge of suffering
Another taste of the evil I breed
Will level you completely
Bring to life everything that you fear
Live in the dark, and the world is threatening

Let me enlighten you
This is the way I pray

Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away

Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, cast aside
Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, you've made me turn away

Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough,
They take everything from you

Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough,
Take everything away

Violence Fetish Lyrics

Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
If you've ever known anyone
Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
Can you feel it?
Oh ow, ow!

How do you sleep
When you live with your lies
Out of your mouth
Up from your mind
That kind of thinking
Starts a chain reaction
You are a timebomb ticking away
You need to release
What you're feeling inside
Let out the beast
That you're trying to hide
Step right up and be a part of the action
Get your game face on
Because it's time to play
You're pushing and fighting your way
You're ripping it up

Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
If you've ever known anyone
Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
Can you feel it?
Oh ow, ow! x2

How do you live without playing the game
Sit on the side and expect to keep sane
Step right up and be a part of the action
Come get a piece of it before it's too late
Take a look around
You can't deny what you see
Were living in a violent society
Well my brother let me show you a better way
So get your game face on because it's time to play
You're pushing and fighting your way you're ripping it up

Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
If you've ever known anyone
Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
Can you feel it?
Oh ow, ow! x2

Tell me what am I supposed to be
Another goddamn drone
Tell me what am I supposed to be
Should I leave it on the inside
Tell me what am I supposed to be
Another goddamn drone
Tell me what am I supposed to be

Should I get ready to play?
You're pushing and fighting your way you're ripping it up

Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
If you've ever known anyone
Bring the violence
It's significant
To the life
Can you feel it?
Oh ow, ow! x2