! Phth...Kys a tard!

I locked myself out of my account and had to reset my password. Writing things down now....

Whoa.

Looking back on the last few months, Ive realised how much life has changed.
Just posting to get rid of the older entry.

Consider this my...semi last entry on here I guess.

Once again, and for the last time, I want to apologise for my behavior. Lately though, I just feel relatively...cold towards everyone. It scares the hell out of me, really. Certain things that are going on, I should be my overemotional self over. People will tell me things, and its usually like I can feel what they are feeling. But...its like...ice. Thats the only thing that makes sense to me. Its not that it doesnt matter, its just that I dont seem to be able to care.Or feel. About anything much really. My normally really weird emotions seem to have been reduced to CALM, ANGRY, and RELATIVELY CHEERY. I dont care much what I say, or do. 
But I really cant help it.
Hell, I dont even care about posting anymore. Which is why, unless it is important, or im really bored, I just wont.
I dont know what the hell is going on anymore...
Sorry.
I just. Dont. Care.

It seems that...pretty much everyone is a LITTLE snarly lately.

And as much as I seem to usually get caught up in that kinda thing, Im...not.

I kinda...really dont give a crap about all the little life-and-tech drama going on.

Just..dont.


I feel...Im not sure the word...disconnected from everyone else. Kinda like what I would expect your computer to feel like if it wasnt connected to the internet anymore. (Because, you know, in my mind computers have feelings) And the bad thing is, for some reason, this feeling aint bad. Actually, I dont know if thats a bad thing then. I guess the only word that describes even close to the way I feel now would be "free". I dont know whats changed(ing), but I do know that something has(is). And, It doesnt seem to be bad. Only bad like winter seems bad but then you get the spring.

Had a weird dream. Wasnt really sleeping. Like...almost sleeping. And I had semi-control of my actions. Not weird by my normal standards, but weird because my little cousins(>2nd cuz or something) were in it.
Mostly posting to get rid of my "Fuck" entry.

everyone was hanging out at this lodge place in the mountains, but I somehow knew we were still in Calgary. It was the middle of day, and everyone (not sure all who was there...) was sitting around in a circle, talking and stuff, sitting inside by the fire, (Why the hell we had a fire going in the day I dont know) but I was just leaning up against the window, staring at the sky. It was really bright and warm out. Kri and carter tried to wave me over to come talk, but I wouldnt go. Mumbled something about being too warm over there or something. So, I just stood there, being my loner self, staring out the window(It was like a wall-window. Like...a huge ass pane of glass) And out of nowhere, my little cousins Aiden and Rowan come charging up to me, crying. I havent seen them in a year, and ive only ever met them twice. Why they were there I dont know. They practically knocked my feet out from under me. Rowan was practically hysterical, poor little guy, and Aiden was mumbling something about tornados. So, I picked Rowan up, got up, and dragged Aiden closer to me, and Aiden gets really scared and goes "See...Its getting dark out...Thats bad. We should go, lisa..."
Now, it was the middle of the day. It was nice and bright a moment ago. So, I turn around and say "Aiden, its alright. Theres no tornado, and its....day?"
The freaking sky had gone completely black, and it looked like twilight out. Except...orangy. Aiden started pleading with me to leave, but I was too busy watching the glass frost. Like...black spidery veins of frost starting from the bottom up. When they dragged my vision up enough I noticed the huge fucking full moon in the sky. Then, something started to happen, and I went completely cold, muttering "Oh shit. Forgot about the eclipse. We need to go." Why? Wasnt sure. But I just knew we needed to leave. It was like a solar eclipse, but then changed to a lunar one for the most part. I tried to go to drag aiden and rowan out, but then everything started to get really...almost dizzy. The two little kids were transfixed on the sky, and I couldnt get them to move fast enough. Then, I noticed that the fire inside had gone almost ethereal white, and everyone was standing up, kinda facing us with their heads down. Yknow that feeling you get right before you know something bad is about to happen? yeah. Thats the feeling I got. Yet did I move? Nope.
Then I noticed Carter had a nice shiny pointy dagger. Pointed at me. This got me moving, but when I went to turn, I guess it was Icareda that was standing in my path. Everyone was like...shadowy sillouhetts, but I just knew. She made this horrible giggling noise, and all I remember is this weird cold and hot feeling running through me, seeing my wings unfurl, hearning rowan scream my name, pushing someone away from him( he got his arm scratched) feeling a really sharp pain in my gut like id been stabbed,
THen my freaking alarm went off.

What. The hell. Were my little cousins doing in my dream?

yeah. Fuck. Just....fuck.

Sorry if im going to be antisocial and sorry for whatever I say when Im snappy. Im miserable, and I dont want to socialize.

FUCK!....

Well. Finally, after a weird couple of weeks, a lot of crap has happened I guess. One of which (Ha! Witch...) being that last night, I finally managed to tell my parents about wanting to be Wiccan. And theyre okay with it! Okay, yes, there a bit confused, I have rules to follow right now (Such as no Ouiji boards or Tarot cards, which im fine with. I dont know what the hell Im doing, and theyre dangerous, so...), and Its just learning, but...yeah. Even though its going to be rough, Im glad I told them. We had one of those fun life talks, and now, Im at an all-new high of optimism for some reason. I honestly feel like I just know everything will be okay. No matter what happens, everything will eventually turn out fine.

Not gonna be mentioning the otherkin stuff. That, I think, is going to be a little much.

Im going to go...cook. I have now realised that I love to cook. And, now Ill go and do it.

*dances*

Okay. So, now that i'm less depressed, I think I have something to rant about. Short, yes, but a rant.

The people who comment on videos.

Seriously. Go to Youtube. Read the comments. Cry for the lost souls of the people who discovered coherent thought.


That shall be all.